Accidentally New Age*

Accidentally New Age is a little bit of a nudge this week, so don’t take it personally that she is giving you the stinkface and rolling her eyes. Unless you’re doing some stupid shit; then take it personally because you should know better.

Maybe it’s the smoky haze drifting up from the 1,088 wildfires burning in northern California. There’s something both incredibly beautiful and also wrong about the sun burning bright orange every morning. But ANA finds herself a little bit sluggish and prone to staring off into space this week. [ANA wonders: 108 is an auspicious number; is 1,088 extrauspicious? ANA also wonders why it is that we don’t smoosh more words together in English, like the French do.]

Or, maybe it’s because she can’t draw stick figures with any aptitude. There are a lot of things that ANA was terrible at as a kid that have kinda come to her naturally over the years — skipping, writing legibly, being remotely sociable — but drawing isn’t one of them. ANA doesn’t have low self esteem, but really, stick figures? She’s pretty sure her cat could handle drawing those.

Accidentally New Age was enjoying the Saturday morning sunny-ness with her mom.

Mom: Wow, look at those clouds!  They’re amazing!

ANA: Yes. They look light and fluffy. Like light and fluffy clouds.

Mom: Yes!

Accidentally New Age received this voicemail yesterday:

The other day I was hanging out with my dad and I noticed that his aura was a bit off, so I smudged it, and now he’s cleansed.

Come on that’s got to get me in the blog, right? Come on!

Sure, Mike, ANA’s game.

But just so you know, while you were leaving that voicemail, Master Kataka was balancing ANA’s chakras with the didgeradoo x brought back from Australia.

ANA: Knock knock.

You: Who’s there?

ANA: Namaste.

You: Namaste who?

ANA: Namaste, motherfuckers!

pause

You: That’s stupid.

ANA: Oh.

Sometimes Accidentally New Age’s friends come up with stuff so awesome ANA has to tell all of you about it.

from miss c:

“yesterday another teacher at my studio said ‘and we order burma superstar‘ and i heard ‘and we gave birth to a star.’”

oysauce: how are you dearest ANA?

ANA: i am okay. my week was good, but tiring and filled with menses and headaches. how are you?

oysauce: omg! i JUST noticed MY MOON! is the actual moon big!?

oysauce: i’m checking

oysauce: i don’t see it out there

ANA: it might be new

ANA: it was a tiny sliver this morning

oysauce: i’m glad we can celebrate these things together

ANA: oh, it’s not new until sun or mon

ANA: phew

oysauce: i’m glad we live in sf … i’m not really sure who i know outside of sf who would be stoked to share this info

ANA: i need to set new moon intentions

oysauce: HAhaha

ANA: hee

oysauce: put that on your blog and smoke it

Accidentally New Age was just cleaning out her wallet and came across the baggy of crystals that she has been carrying around in her (various) wallets since 2001.

A friend asked her what the crystals represented.

“I have no idea, but I picked them up and liked them, then my friend who is a healer blessed them. So I just keep them with me.”

overheard at yoga:

Him: I’m moving there to be with my wife.

Her: You’re married?

Him: Well, yeah, it was like a Burning Man, ritualistic-type thing.

Accidentally New Age talked to her dad this afternoon about yoga. He said, “this yoga, is it kinda like Scientology?”

After a couple minutes of conversation, he seemed to understand the difference, “Oh, I see, so, Scientology minus space aliens plus exercise equals yoga.”

The illustrious KK found her way to my blog yesterday and emailed me some awesomeness, which I have excerpted for your reading pleasure:

i actually mistakenly made an error in description though; the pose on my card is valakhilyasana, or pose of the valakhilyas (or balakhilyas) who were tiny forest-dwelling hermits the size of a thumb and resplendent and bright as the blazing sun; tiny blazing heavenly spirits! now, i have no doubt that they ate moonbeams and dew…

but the more noted partaker of moonbeams is the legendary partridge-type bird called the chakora, who feasts on moonbeams, and is the inspiration for the pose chakorasana (one leg behind head, other leg out straight up, balance on hands).

may i do that pose for your phone camera so that you can have a record of it?

sometimes too much pixie dust in my coffee in the early morning makes my mind merge the mythological creatures into one fabulous pose of sri!

Clearly this camera image is to follow. Next week.